A Cowboys Rules for his gal:

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask me.

Don't cut your hair. Ever.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, I'm not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask me what I'm thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, shotgun shells and saddle soap.

Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.(Yeah you, Cat lady!)

Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

Shopping is not sport.

Anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect me to like it.

No, I don't know what day it is. I never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

I own two pairs of cowboy boots-what makes you think I'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Don't give me 50 rules when 25 will do.

Don't fake it. I'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Anything I said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

You don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect me to act like soap opera guys.

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

You can either ask me to do something OR tell me how you want it done - not both.

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